Polly has spent her entire life writing and has since become a freelancer, focusing on a variety of topics such as
dining and entertainment to pets and travel. When not writing, she studies linguistics.
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|Posted Monday, June 1, 2015; filed under Commentary.
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Why is it that retirement brings out the stupid in
young people? They holler as if you are deaf.
Think about the last time you were at a family
gathering. Your thirty-something nephew
comes over and says, "HI AUNTIE! HOW ARE
YOU? ARE YOU DOING OKAY?"
You lean back because you have no desire to
go deaf. You answer him just as loud because
you hope he will get the message that you are
not deaf. "FINE, STEVEN! I AM JUST FINE!"
Steven goes over and says to his wife, Carol,
"Aunt Rose is losing her hearing."
Carol spoke with Aunt Rose two days ago to get
her recipe for cinnamon rolls. She spoke with
Aunt Rose for thirty minutes about the kids,
Steven's job and of course, the time Aunt Rose
made the best cinnamon rolls ever. They ended
their telephone conversation laughing about how
the same tried-and-true recipe came out more
superior than any other roll ever made.
Nonetheless, Carol is not sure what to do because she wants to believe her husband and at the
same time hates to see her favorite Aunt suffering from an old-age ailment. She then goes over
and speaks with her cousin Cybil about Aunt Rose. "She's going deaf," says Carol. "She had an
awful time hearing Steven. He had to holler for her to get her to hear what he was saying."
Cybil feeling Aunt Rose could be in her last days goes over and says, "AUNT ROSE? DO YOU
NEED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM?"
Rose looks at Cybil with a scowl on her face and says, "NO, DO YOU?"
Cybil confused by the answer ask again in even a louder voice, "NO, NO, AUNT ROSE. DO
YOU NEED TO USE THE BATHROOM?"
Rose getting a bit irritated at all this hollering stands up, grabs Cybil by the hand and takes her
inside the bathroom. "There you go Dearie. You can go by yourself like a big girl, right?"
Rose steps out and locks the door leaving Cybil with a bewildered look on her face. Rose returns
to her seat with a smile on hers.
Yep, as we get older things do not work as they should but that does not mean we are ready for
the scrap heap. So Steven, in case you are listening, "I HEARD YOU WHISPERING ABOUT
THE HIDEOUS OUTFIT CAROL HAD ON. SHE TOLD ME TODAY SHE WAS UNDER THE
IMPRESSION YOU LIKED IT."
Oh yeah and one more thing, I am very sorry I locked Cybil in the bathroom. One thing for sure,
older people get funnier as they age.