Polly's Perspective
Polly has spent her entire life writing and has since become a freelancer.  She now writes about a variety of topics, from dining and
entertainment to pets and travel.  When not writing, she studies linguistics.
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This entry was posted on Sunday, September 28, 2014; filed under Polly's Perspective and Commentary .
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What Does Your Heart Say?
I recently saw one of my favorite movies, "Stanley
and Iris
" on one of the cable channels.  It is about
a widowed, soon-to-be grandmother, factory baker
with a family of her own to care for who teaches
the bakery's cafeteria cook, a quiet middle-aged
bachelor who lives with his father how to read.  
Eventually the two of them start a relationship.  
While I was watching it occurred to me how many
times women have dated/married men who are not
as educated or established as others.  Sometimes
our female friends will insist that we date better
men.  Translation- men that are more qualified:
men that are more suited to our level of
education/accomplishment.  Family and even our
coworkers will tell us how we can choose better and
date better qualified men.  I have often said that the
heart wants what it wants.  But still many times
women are made to feel as though we have let
ourselves down for picking the man we want to
have by our side.  We give in to our family, our
BFF's and coworkers.  This causes friction within
our own minds and spills out into our relationships.  
If we marry the man, the inner turmoil within us
may bring it up, during a disagreement and let him
know that we make more money or that we are
smarter than he is.  We did not mean it when we
made the comment and are sorry but we say it and
sometimes we do not take it back.  We let others
make their comments and sometimes we allow a
good man to be driven away.  We let everyone
outside the relationship dictate how things should
work.  We let the outsiders make us feel like
criminals for dating beneath our level.
What is my point here?  Think about it.  Women have always been the power behind the man.  It
does not matter if we are company bosses or housewives.  Whatever amount of education,
smartness, or money we possess, our hearts seek out someone to love.  No matter the man's
station in life, no matter his level of education, or bank account, the heart seeks a love.

Since the beginning of time, women have always been the power behind the man.  So what if we
are more educated or make more money!  Together, we as a couple can have more.  Do not let
society tear down what you have.  Because in the end, society will not hold you when you are
down, listen to your story or be your backbone.  Society will not fill your heart.  Family members,
friends and coworkers already think they know how much money your family makes.  Heck, they
think they know everything about your household for that matter.  Eventually they will let the issue
go if they see a formidable force.

Do not be afraid to tell the love of your life how you feel, your fears.  The love of your life hears
you, empathizes with you.  Remember he has fears too.  The males in his life will call him not so
nice names and may even tell him he is less than a man or not a man at all.  Some may even
encourage him to treat you as less than a lady.  Let your man be a man.  And let your heart be
whole.  Neither of you should let what society's opinions of what a 'real' man is influence your
relationship.

You need to answer only one question: What does your heart say?



Polly Elliott-Lanz
Polly's Perspective